Gardella 6

6   Gunny said they'd heard the explosions & seen the smoke, & that when the soldiers headed down that tunnel, "We figured you'd had it."   "Yeah," I told him, "I guess we thought pretty much the same ourselves."   White & Craig joined up with us as we were walking.  glad as I was to see them, the feeling didn't last long because I immediately saw some men carrying Lieutenant Damon who was still unconscious most of the time.  He was in bad shape & I wondered how long he could hold on.  Nancy, though weak & in pain, was able to smile.  She reached out to me & I closed my hands around her tiny ones.   "It's a nice day," she said.   "It's a beautiful day."  I knew what she meant--that it was good just to be alive.     I asked Scotty what would happen next.   "We head for another cave about twenty-five miles from here; we've used it often."   "But with Nancy & Sam One & the lieutenant all needing medical attention?"   "When we gt there," he said.   "Well then, why don't we move?"  I said.  "It's going to be dark soon."  It was our fifth day in China.  Gunny heard the tension in my voice.   "You been through a lot, kid," he said.  Hearing this from a man practically old enough to be my father helped to calm me down.  They'd made stretchers for the three wounded out of branches, rags, vines & I don't know what else.  I kept being amazed at the resourcefulness of these people, & began almost to believe they could do anything--these tiny people, some of whom weighed only half what I did, & who carried loads of gear as big as I could manage without ever appearing to get tired.   Right then I was certainly tired.  We were moving through rough country, along small paths or no path at all.  When at last we got to the cave, its many turns & twists all lit by torches, it was a relief to see the wounded being cared for by people who seemed to know what they were doing.   We hadn't been there long before a group of friendlies came in with what appeared to be prisoners.  Some were in the dress of Communist soldiers, but there was one in denims who was much bigger than the others.  As he moved closer, it became clear that he was not Chinese.  Then Gunny, Holden, White, Craig & I all stared in amazement.  He was the same civilian who had put us through our training for this mission, seeming all the while to enjoy watching us suffer!   Scotty hadn't missed our stares.  "You lads look like you've seen a ghost.  Either that or you know this man."   "We know him all right," Gunny said with a scowl.  At a signal from Scotty, the civilian was led away from the group.  Gunny & I followed him & stood by as Scotty asked, "What are you doing here?  With them?"   The civilian looked at him with the same kind of smirk we'd gotten from him while we trained, but he never opened his mouth.   Scotty now explained that when his men had captured one vehicle far behind the convoy that had attacked us, they had found him on board.  He hadn't been tied up & hadn't seemed to be a prisoner.   "Somebody should strip him & search him," Gunny said.  At an order from Scotty his men undressed him.  In his pockets along with several scraps of paper with notes on them they found some shipping bills from Lushun--the Chinese name of Port Arthur--& a small blue card that read UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY, with the seal of the United States, the man's photo & the name Joseph Roberts.   Would a real CIA man be carrying around an ID card like that?  The question occurred to me too & to this day I do not know the answer.  Could he have been a double agent of some kind?  I don't know that either.  But anyone who has read about the activities of the CIA during that period will know that some very strange things were being done in 1952.   "What are you doing here?" Scotty asked him once again.   & again Roberts stood there like a sphinx, not saying a word.   Scotty asked Gunny, the ranking American in our party now that the lieutenant was out of action, "Do you want us to try to get some information out of him?"   We all knew what Scotty meant.  Gunny said no, & Scotty went off to his men, taking along Roberts' papers.  Everybody had questions & no one had any answers.  After a while, Scotty came over to tell us he hadn't been able to learn anything new, either from talking to his men or through the radio transmitter he carried.   "I know you lads are tired," he said.  "Better get some sleep now.  I don't think it will be safe to stay here much longer."   "Where are we going?" I asked.   "A place were we'll be safe," was all he would say.   We'd all learned not to argue, but to grab whatever rest we could.  I don't know how long I slept--only that I was groggy when they awakened me.  I was still groggy when we got under way.  The Chinese people in our party didn't take long to get started--which I suppose was one reason they were still alive.   As we moved out into the night, Holden came up along side me & Gunny.  "I'm worried about the lieutenant," he said.   "Yeah," Gunny said, "but I'm worried more about Scotty.  He's nervous, & I haven't seen him that way before.  Something must be wrong."   Altogether there were about thirty in the group & Scotty was up front.  But this time I decided not to keep my questions to myself.  I worked my way forward to ask, "What is happening?  Where are we going?"   "To another cave in the mountains, about fifteen miles away."  He wouldn't say any more.   I'd been walking in silence for a few minutes more when I heard the sound of planes.  "Probably looking for us," Scotty said before I could say anything.  "We're safe in the dark.  but we've got to get to the cave before light.  They're not going to give up looking."   I began to drift back to the others, passing Roberts & the five Chinese prisoners, all with their hands bound.  They were being moved along quickly by their guards, who carried automatic weapons.  Though I hadn't got much out of Scotty, I also knew that we owed our lives to him & his men.  Clearly our mission had been important to them; but now that it was done, they were protecting us, doing their best to help us get away, simply out of generosity.  As for Roberts, how was anyone to know what side he was on?  He hadn't given the least sign that he even knew us!   I took us many hours to reach the cave, & once again, while I wanted to do nothing but rest, Scotty & his men were arranging with incredible speed for guards & patrols, & had the transmitter in place.  Scotty could work his radio only for very brief intervals, for fear of being picked up by the Communists.  After he'd tried for a while & gotten nothing, he came over & said, "Let's talk to Roberts again."   Roberts had now been tied separately from the rest of the prisoners, who had their feet bound & were roped together by the neck at four-foot intervals.  Their faces showed no expression, as if they expected nothing but the worst.   We took Roberts deeper into the cave where Scotty tried a new set of questions, with no more success than before.  Once in a while he'd manage that unpleasant smirk, or he'd lick his lips.  Though I can't say that I felt sorry for him, I did have a certain respect for the way he clammed up.  After a while, at a word from Scotty, one of the guards half led, half dragged Roberts away by the rope around his kneck.  Then the five of us marines walked over to the fire & sat down, all of us a little stunned at what we'd gotten into.  We started talking as a way of comforting ourselves.   Holden said, "Rick & I were shanghaied.  & I told Rick about you, Gunny.  So that makes three of us."  I looked curiously over toward White & Craig, & White smiled.  "I went over the hill," he said, using marine slang AWOL, "for a girl.  I thought I was going to marry her, until one morning I woke up & found the girl & my money gone & the MPs standing there.  That's when I got my choice of this or a court-martial. "   I looked at Craig.  "How about you, Slade?"  We'd taken to calling him that, I don't really know why.  "I was a little different," he told us.  "I was on the boat to Korea when they offered me this.  I took it.  I guess I must have been out of my mind."   "Christ, no," I said.  "Could you have had a s good a time as this in Korea?"  For the first time since we'd all been together we had a good laugh.   I knew that Nancy's parents had been killed by the Communists.  Now I asked Sally about hers.  "They are alive," she answered.  "They are fine, I hope.  I have not seen them in four years."  She paused, dropping her head as if she were ashamed.  "They are Communists.  My brother too, but I do not believe in Communism."   I really felt for her--a youngster like that, having made such a decision.  "How old are you?" I asked.  "Seventeen, like you."  When I looked at her questioningly she added, "Seventeen almost."   I grinned at her & put a hand on her shoulder.  The two of us were standing there like that when Scotty came back.  He'd been looking at the papers Roberts had with him & that had given him an idea.  "I want to talk about it with him here to see the expression on his face."   The guards brought Roberts to the fire & sat him down.  After asking him once again if he had anything to say, Scotty held up the papers.  "I have something here I want you all to listen to," he said.  While he read we all watched Roberts.  "Six ships sunk.  Will not return.  They feel the same as most of us.  But hung his name on anyway.  Sing a song to Jenny next."  At these words Roberts reacted for the first time with an interested, wary look.   "Does that mean anything to you, lads?" Scotty asked.  No one said anything.  "I'll read it again.  Listen:  Six ships sunk.  Will not return.  They feel the same as most of us.  But hung his name on anyway.  Sing a song to Jenny next."   "Who the hell is Jenny?" Holden asked.  Instead of answering, Scotty began to talk.  "Here is what this might mean.  The message could be in two parts.  The first, Six ships sunk.  Will not return, could refer to the six of you.  As for the second part, I don't know about They feel the same as most of us, but the hung his name could refer to Hungnam & the song to Jenny could be Songjen.  They're both in North Korea.  They could be talking about real ships sunk at those places or they could be talking about other groups of operatives like you, who will not return."   Watching Roberts, I could see that for the first time he was shaken.  He had turned pale & it was costing him some effort to go on looking unconcerned.  The message had shaken me a little too.  What did it mean:  Will not return?  That they hadn't made any plan for us to get back?  That they didn't want us back?   Just then two friendlies came running in & spoke heatedly to Scotty.  He turned to us.  "Communist troops are two hours off & headed this way."   "Jesus," Gunny said, "what do we do now?"   Scotty didn't answer immediately, but turned & spoke again to his two men.  As they ran off he said to us, "We have to split into two groups."   "Oh no," Craig said.  "Not again!"   "If they catch us together, we're all gone," Scotty reminded him.  "If we split up, the pursuit has to divide, & that gives us both a better chance.  & if they did catch one group..."  He shrugged, then went on quickly, "We join up again after we've gone through the mountains."   I asked, "What about the wounded?  They're not going to be left?"   "I don't know the answer to that," Scotty replied.  They'll hold us up.  It's a decision we've got to make."   "I'm staying with the wounded," I said, & the rest of the marines agreed.  "You can't all stay," Scotty told us.   "I haven't asked anybody for anything yet," I said, "& I won't ask for anything except this.  I'm staying with them."  "Okay," Scotty said.  "One more can stay.  We'll draw lots on it.  You know that whoever goes with the wounded travels slowly & has the least chance of getting away."   While we all stood there, he picked up five empty machine-gun shells & a pebble, & handed them to a friendly to whom he spoke in Chinese.  "One of the shells has the pebble.  The one who gets it goes with Rick & the wounded.  Gunny, Holden, White, Craig--& I--will draw."   White was the one who got the shell with the pebble in it.  "First time I ever won anything," he said with a grin. Then Scotty was urging us on.  "We don't have much time.  Ten men will go with Rick & White & the three stretchers.  You have to try to make it over that mountain before dawn.  It's going to be a terrible climb in the dark.  We'll take the prisoners, try to draw the Communists away from you & then regroup at the fork in the next valley, on the far side of the mountain."    "Do any of the men you're giving us speak English?" I asked Scotty.  "Harry & Joe do.  They also know the way over the mountain."   As Gunny, Holden & Craig came up to White & me & reached out to shake our hands, I realized how close we'd all become.  Holden said, "Watch it, you guys, be careful."  & Gunny added, "We want to see both of you at the fork."  "We'll be there," White said, & we all shook hands again.   We were getting ready when I noticed Sally & the three other girls standing off to one side, looking tearful.  I walked over & put my arms around the four of them--they were tiny enough for that.  "Nothing is going to happen," I said, "we'll be together again soon."  Then I turned quickly & walked away.  I was no better at handling sentiment than they were.   White gave Scotty a wave as our group picked up the stretchers.  "See you at the fork," he said.  "Aye, lads."  With that we were on our way.   Outside the cave we encountered a strong wind, which made the going over rocks & the steep terrain all the rougher.  Nancy & the lieutenant were strapped into their stretchers.  Sam One decided he wanted to walk, with the help of his brother.  The wind blew still harder & finally it began to rain.  In the darkness the trail became narrower & the rain made the rocks slippery--in places where we knew a slip could have sent you a long way down the mountain.   All at once while Harry & I were carrying Nancy's stretcher my right leg slid out from under me.  I managed not to let go my hold on the stretcher, & Harry immediately lovwered his end of it so that Nancy wasn't hurt.  But my leg had taken a deep gash as I went down.   "I fix!" Harry had to shout to make himself heard in the wind.  Familiar by now with Chinese home remedies I yelled back, "Reach into Nancy's pocket.  She has some earth in there."  Harry found it, wrapped it in a strip of cloth ripped from his own clothes & tied it around my leg.  Then we picked up the stretcher & were on our way.   Six hours later, the rain & wind still raged & we were still struggling up the mountain.  An hour after that, Joe, who'd gone out in front as point man, came slipping & sliding down to tell us we were only half a mile from the top.  I looked at the sky; the rain had slackened, & there was a hint of light overhead.   I asked, "Are we going to make it before daylight?"  Joe shrugged, "We try."  Then he turned & started back up again, pulling ahead of us effortlessly.   I was exhausted & I could see that White was also gasping for breath.  But somehow we plodded on.  Encouraged by knowing we were near the top, we could ignore the bruises, the scrapes & the fatigue.  By the time we got there, it was near enough daylight so that we could see into the valley.  There was no sign of any human being.  In this light the valley below us looked brown, with a thin mist rising.   After that moment's look, we were scrambling downhill, which was at least faster going.  But it was also slippery & also the more dangerous because we were so tired.   I asked Harry whether we could stop for a rest.  "No time," he answered.  We raced for the shelter of rocks as four fighters came over so low we could have been throwing rocks at them.  In the valley they made a u-turn & headed back toward us.  I was sure they'd spotted us, but they went right by, up the mountain & over.  In a moment or two I could hear the sound of bombs & machine-gun fire, & realized that they were going after Scotty's group.  I muttered "Damn it, they're after Scotty," & Harry said, "Lots of caves."   "But if the planes pin them down, troops can catch them."  Harry said nothing.  We both sat in silence until the barrage stopped.  As soon as the planes were gone, Harry stood up & said, "We must go, we have no time."  Once again we picked up the stretcher & were heading down the mountain.   Later we heard the planes again & dove for cover.  Apparently we weren't what they were after, since they went for what looked like the same spot as before.  It made us feel helpless not knowing how Scotty's group was making out.  But there was nothing to do but go on as soon as the last barrage died away.  This time we made it to the bottom.  What had looked from above like an open valley was really a series of narrow canyons--just the sort of place to invite an ambush.   I stared at the rock wall ahead of me & asked Harry, trying not to sound nervous, "How do we get around this?"  "Opening in wall," he told me.  "We go through, then we rest for minute."   It was a good thing we had someone who knew about the gap in the wall; certainly none of us would ever have spotted it.  We clambered through & sat down.  Our wounded were either asleep or unconscious; Nancy's color was good & she appeared to be holding her own.  Lieutenant Damon was another story, he looked terribly pale & weak.   Harry hadn't been kidding when he said we'd rest "a minute."  We had hardly sat down to rest when he was saying, "We must go."  I gestured toward the lieutenant:  "He can't go much further."   Harry only shook his head & said again, "We must go."  I was relieved of stretcher duty now, & that made things easier for me.  But not for long.  Suddenly there was a burst of machine-gun fire from somewhere near.  I looked back & saw the bearers hurrying the stretchers into the protection of the canyon wall.  I yelled to Harry, "Where's it coming from?"   "Not know!" he shouted back.  Down behind the rocks, we could see White waving at us, & we started crawling toward him.  Our question about where the firing came from was answered as streams of men came at us from both sides of the canyon.  We were trapped.  & from the look of them I feared they had more men than we had rounds of ammunition.  I was wearing my usual two bandoliers, with a total of maybe a dozen clips in all, each clip holding thirty rounds.  I also had one grenade.   I turned to White & asked if he had any grenades.  "No!" he yelled back.  I saw sweat pouring down his face & felt it on mine from the heat & tension.   I looked over at Harry.  "Any grenades?"  He put up one finger.  That made two, not enough to be worth much.  I called out to White & Harry, "You two hit the rear.  The friendlies & I will concentrate on the front!"  They waved at me & we moved about twenty yards apart.  The Communists were firing rifles, machine guns & mortars, heavily & without any direction.  We were firing back more carefully because we had fewer men & a hell of a lot less ammunition.  The sound of the mortars got uncomfortably close.  I looked around at White & Harry just as a mortar round hit squarely between them, on the very spot where I'd been maybe thirty seconds before.  Seeing neither of them move, I began crawling toward them.  I got to Harry first & saw that the back of his head was blown off.  I scrambled over to White, praying that he'd be okay.  When I reached im I almost choked.  Blood was seeping from his mouth, nose & ears.  I put an arm under his head trying to cradle it, but at the same time I could see that he was beyond help--even though his eyes were open & he was staring at me intently.  I think he was trying to say something, but all he could do was cough up more blood.  Looking down I saw that his stomach had been blown open.  As I met his eyes again he tried to move his left hand.  Then it fell back limp, his head sagged & I knew he was dead.  Tears sprang to my eyes, & I heard myself saying, "O God, o God!"  Then my feelings became a blank.   What happened then must happen to a lot of men in battle at those times when they seem not to care about their own lives.  I certainly wasn't thinking that now I was going to risk my life, since in my own mind I had no possibility of staying alive.  I was already dead; it wasn't as though I risked anything.  I remember to this day the detachment of that moment.  There was no heat, no rage but a kind of icy cold.  First I reached down & grabbed white's machine gun.  Then I stood up & emptied it.  It was hard to fire & not hit someone, because we were in a tiny semicircle with our backs to the canyon wall & they were all around us.   I tossed White's gun aside, picked up Harry's, stood to my full height & emptied it.  That was a dumb thing to do--except when you think you're already dead & it doesn't matter.  But somehow I got away with it.  I dropped Harry's gun, picked up my own & headed toward the stretchers, where I could see Sam One, Sam Two & three other friendlies.  In that very instant while I moved toward them, both Sams were hit by the same devastating burst of machine-gun fire & blown off their feet.  No one could have survived that; I knew without looking.  At least the two brothers had been killed together & probably that was what they would have preferred.   Looking down at the stretchers, I saw at once that Damon had been hit by a mortar fragment & was dead.  Nancy was unconscious, but from the movement of her eyelids I knew that she was still alive.  Besides the two of us there were three friendlies, who were still firing away.  I started firing again too as the attackers kept closing in.  Their bodies were literally using up our ammunition.   Then one right after the other the three Chinese with me got hit.  I was the only one firing back.  Yet I was aware that the firing was picking up.  Why the Communists were bothering at this point I didn't know.  I started to grope in my right pants pocket for the little pill in its plastic case.  I found it & clutched it, then reached for the knife I carried in my belt.  I am about to die, I told myself.   The gunfire increased, & suddenly I realized that it was not being aimed at me!  I spotted what seemed to be a squad of Communist soldiers leaving their cover--but instead of running toward me, they were running away!  This new firing, which I had thought was aimed at me, had really been intended for them!   My first thought was that it must be Scotty's group, except that the source sounded like small arms, machine guns & mortars, & there was too much of it to have been coming from them.  Then I spotted a whole bunch of new people.  Whoever they were they weren't in uniform--a ragtag bunch, no two dressed alike, wearing odds & ends, including what looked like old American fatigues mixed in with the more usual pajamas.  None of them wore hats, but most had headbands--strips of cloth tied around their foreheads.  I knew they weren't on the Communists' side, but it still wasn't clear exactly whose side they were on.  They waved at me & I waved back.  More & more of them kept appearing, until there were about a hundred.  I saw someone moving through their ranks--a tiny person perhaps five feet tall but with the authority of a leader, who said "Hello."   It was a woman's voice.  If I'd been less surprised I would have said something by way of thanks for saving my life.  But all I could manage to say just then was "Oh!"